Do you suffer from FOMOSM, Fear Of Missing Out on Social Media? Has it been an hour since you last scrolled Instagram, and you need to make your way all the way down until you’re caught up? Do you get a little itchy when you think you could’ve missed important posts on your Facebook feed, only to discover that nothing really important happened after scrolling for the twelfth time that morning? Do you know more about your high school classmate’s children (whom you’ve never met in person), than you do about the 4 year old that lives 6 houses down on your street?
I get it. I’m there. I don’t want to miss out. I need little sips from my screen to make sure I’m caught up, I’ve read the news, I’ve scoffed at the fake news, I’ve liked and loved and angry emoji’d all the things. And I want to make sure that my own content is liked; that my social voice is heard among the other posts. That I matter in my sphere and my words are clever and my photos are poignant and everyone knows I reek of wit and proper comment banter.
Screen Drinking: All Consuming & Delicious!
Are you a Screen Drinker like me?
I’m working on it. I’m trying to take less sips. I cringe when one of my kids hears my phone go off, and runs it to me with great urgency, “Mom! Your phone! You have a message!” But it’s not urgent, and yet they act with urgency because I have shown them urgency before.
So here’s what I want you to take from this narrative that you are drinking in from your screen: Don’t let my content be your preferred content. My stuff isn’t that important. Sure, everybody likes likes and wants their voice heard, but I’m giving up on it needing to be other people’s main content. Because, frankly, your content shouldn’t be my preferred content. It’s too exhausting to be fully aware, fully read, fully absorbed in everything that you don’t actually see the REAL LIFE CONTENT in front of us.
Psssst… This Was Taken Early in the Day. Oops
Here is a list of practical things you can do to work on decreasing your screen drinkage, and then I strongly encourage you to drop the FOMOSM, even if it’s my socials that you’re dropping.
- TRACK USAGE: Use either the Moment App or the new iPhone Screen Time tracking feature to see how you are spending your time on your phone. Then set limits. It will be terrifying to see how much you use your phone and check your phone and consume on your screen. (Last week I averaged 3 hours a day on my phone. Holy Crap.)
- PRIORITIZE TEXTERS/CALLS: Set ringtones for important callers and texters so you know when to check it right away, and when to get to it later. Also, set tones of super NOT important ones by either silencing notifications altogether, or a certain noise you know denotes “no rush” to check it. Also there’s the vibrate or silent option, but I know as a mom I still have to be available for my kids in school or my close friends.
- PURGE SOCIAL MEDIA: Unfollow accounts, users, and pages that don’t contribute quality material to you on all your social media platforms. If you saw someone on your “friend” list that you wouldn’t say hi to in the grocery store, you don’t need to follow them on social media.
- PURGE EMAIL JUNK: Unsubscribe to any email accounts that you don’t read and always delete right away.
- SORT HELPFUL EMAIL: Create filters in your email for any coupon emails that come through so that they skip your inbox and go right to a folder. If you need a coupon, check that folder, but otherwise you don’t need it. And if you don’t shop there anymore, go back to number four and drop them completely.
- DISENGAGE AT NIGHT: Set your phone to private or do not disturb overnight. Sleep comes first. People can still call in emergencies by calling twice (at least for iPhones, but I’m sure other phones have that feature, too).
- PHYSICALLY SET IT ASIDE: Have a parking spot for your phone during mealtime, that ISN’T in your hand or at the table. Sit and eat without electronics, or only put on background music. Eating with the people around you or just focused on your meal can be a a calming time, instead of multi-tasking.
- DECREASE DATA: Go through your apps list on your phone and turn off cellular data usage for all apps unless you really truly need them while you’re out and about. (Ex: Pandora, YouTube, Audiobook Apps… I only do these at home when I’m on my own Wifi. It saves data, and keeps me from pointlessly browsing while I’m out).
- STOP THE RED COUNTER: Go through all your apps and turn off or decrease push notifications. I turned off all of mine for Facebook, Pinterest, and GoodReads about a year ago, and that kept me from checking every single time I got a notification. Now I only check when I want, because I’m not drawn to it by the little red circle.
- BOREDOM: If you’re bored, don’t go to your phone first. Empty the dishwasher, look for a tree to stare at, play a round of Go Fish, go for a 30 second jog, or ask your co-worker what their favorite ice cream flavor is. Boredom shouldn’t mean picking up your phone to fill empty head space. (Can you imagine the mileage you could get in if you jogged around your house every time you wanted to pick-up your phone? It’d be like a phone addiction turned marathon training program!)
- TEXT VS. EMAIL: If it isn’t urgent, send an email instead of text. Then whoever you’re contacting can get to it when they want, and you aren’t tied to a text exchange right in that moment.
- QUESTION: How do you want to be known by your family, your kids, your co-workers, your friends? Let’s have it not be with you bent over your phone and disengaged with your surroundings. HEY. I’M TALKING TO YOU, MAGGIE.
I write all this because I am a fellow screen drinker. I struggle, oh how I struggle with this. But I want to be known for me, not for how much I consume from my screen.
Put your phone down after this, okay? Or take the next twenty minutes to more permanently stop the siren’s song of your screen. And then put your phone down or step away from your computer screen. Disengage for a little while. I sure as heck am going to try it.
~M